Mahalia M. & Lily R.

Topic: Animal euthanasia

I knew that it was time. She had been suffering for too long now. She hadn’t been breathing well for the past few days, and just yesterday she was vomiting everywhere. Saige, my dog, was falling, and I didn't want her to suffer. Turns out, I was the one who didn't want to suffer.

Saige had been sick for the past two years. Now there was no cure. My parents had gotten her for me when I was 18 as an early birthday present, right before my parents business trip to Oregon with their co-worker (my mom’s best friend) Sylvia. I guess it was to say sorry for not being able to be there for my nineteenth birthday. It was just me and Saige after they left that morning. Two days later, while my parents were still on the trip, it was my birthday. I took a walk with Saige early that morning.

Later in the evening, I was going to go out to dinner with Rachel. I was going to drop off Saige at Rachel's mom's house so Saige and Sasha could hang out. (Sasha is Rachel’s dog and Saige's best friend; they have been friends for as long as I could remember.) We then would drive to Las Vegas for the weekend. We drove off early in the morning, a day before my birthday. In the middle of the week, on a Wednesday, I got a call from Rachel's mom. I was hoping Saige hadn’t gotten into any trouble.

I put the phone on speaker so Rachel could hear.

“Hi, Mrs. Ramirez. Is everything okay? Is Saige alright?”

I heard her about to speak, but then she paused. I was starting to get a little worried.

“Um, hello?” I said, getting a little nervous.

“Hi Bella... Saige... I know she has been dealing with cancer for the past two years now, but she is acting really weird today… She's not wanting to eat at all. All she's been doing is lying around not wanting to do anything. She doesn't even want to play outside with Sasha… Maybe she could be a little homesick, but I don’t know. She has never acted this way before.”

I could tell that Mrs. Ramirez was stressed out by the way she was talking. So I had to stay calm for her, to let her know that everything would be okay. Even though deep inside I was extremely worried.

“Thank you for letting me know, Mrs. Ramirez. You don't have to worry. Rachel and I will be on our way right now.” And I hung up.

We were finally at Rachel's house around nine hours later. I rushed inside without even know that the car was still moving when I got out.

I walked inside.

“Saige???”

I saw her lying down in the corner of the living room. I started running toward her. She was on the floor, breathing slowly, with faded eyes like she was close to meeting death itself. Rachel and I picked her up from the floor and put her into my car. We were heading to the vet.

I kept saying to myself, “Stay, please. Stay... with… me.” I started to cry onto her golden fur. I knew she never liked the vet. When we got there, I picked her up again and went walking into the vet with a tear down my face. I went to the front desk of the vet. At the front desk I was crying so much I could barely speak. Once they called Saige and me into the operating room, I felt my heart drop. I put Saige on the table, crying my eyes out.

They said, “We have to put her down. She is in a terrible state.”. I looked at the doctor, then at Saige.

I told myself, while looking at Saige on the operating table, “You have been my friend for a while. I don't want to let you go, but … I have to stop your suffering.” Fiction became a reality. “I LOVE YOU, SAIGE… But goodbye my friend, until we meet again…” the doctor walked over to the syringe. Then he walked back to the table and … injected her.

At that moment she lost all life in her and started to close her little eyes, and her paw slowly fell out of my hand, and her last teardrop fell down her soft golden fur. I felt better knowing we were able to end the pain, but I knew I would miss her so much. I took her collar off as I left the room Thinking, as I held her, the only thing I said was I love you, Saige. I hope she knew how much I won't forget her. Thank you for everything.

As I walked out, I felt that she was walking with me and barking happily like she always did.

I called my mom back to tell her what had happened.

“Bella, are you OK?”

“S-saige d-died.”

“I'm going over there now.”

She arrived.

“MOM I MISS HER SO MUCH!”

My mom gave me a tight hug.

“I love you, Mom,” I said.

“I love you, too.”

Once I got home, I placed Saige's collar next to my bed, trying to convince myself that she was still here with me and that she was still alive. I thought I felt her presence on the sofa with me, and I immediately burst into tears because I felt like I saw her still, but wasn’t here anymore.

I cannot believe she’s really gone now… and letting her go, I feel like I could have done more, and now I feel so guilty.

The loss of a pet is unbearable. But I had known the end was near. She became a huge part of our lives... especially mine. Her bed is empty now, and I don't hear her footsteps following me around everywhere I go. Everything reminds me of her. I feel her, but she's not here anymore. Everyday I wait and listen hard enough to maybe hear her bark again, but I knew that it was time.

She had been suffering for too long. Saige, she was falling, I didn't want her to suffer. Turns out, I was the one who didn't want to suffer. She was beautiful and sweet and I'll love her forever.